True Colors
by friendsidol5
Summary: <html><head></head>Sometimes the hardest of days reveal our truest of colors. Set during "To Love and Die in L.A.", so minor spoilers for that episode.</html>


**AN:** I never intended to write something so soon after my last story but inspiration struck. This is what I think could (or wish would) happen in "To Love and Die in LA". So that means there are **spoilers** for that episode, but mostly if you know absolutely _nothing_ about the episode.

The POV changes every section so hopefully that's clear. The lines in the breaks are from "For the First Time" by The Script. They're also what caused my inspiration. Them and an immensely boring car ride. This is a new style for me so I'm not entirely sure about posting it. Hopefully at least one person enjoys it, because sometimes that's all that matters.

Anyway, I'm done now. You're free to go read.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Castle_. I still only own the DVDs, my LEGO versions of the team, and my self made bracelets. And every Season 3 episode on my TiVo.

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><p><em>We're smiling but we're close to tears<em>

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><p>It's nearly 10 o'clock as we walk through the door to my penthouse suite. I haven't said much since we left the LAPD but I doubt my partner has noticed my uncharacteristic silence. The events of the last week, and today specifically, have left her in a near trance. At this point, I'd be worried if she wasn't distracted.<p>

I offer to take her jacket from her arms and suggest she go relax; there's a Jacuzzi tub in her bathroom that I know she's wanted to try since the first night here. It takes me nudging her arm to get her moving. Only after I hear the door click shut, do I myself start on my plan. I know she'd rather I ignore her mood but I can't stop myself from needing to comfort her.

I start by picking up the room phone and call down to room service. I know they've closed the kitchen by now but I also know that the hotel would never ignore guests in the penthouse. I can hear the sound of water running as I hang up the phone. Knowing that the food will take about an hour, I grab my room key and wallet; there's a liquor store that needs to be visited.

It's a short walk around the corner and soon enough I'm walking through the door. My first stop is the tequila. After finding the bottle I wanted, I turn towards the vodka. It takes a little longer to find the brand I want but I won't settle for less than the best. I'm surprised to see the 2000 Chateauneuf-du-Pape on the shelf but there it is. Grabbing the bottle and shifting my hold on the others slightly I head to one last section. I find my favorite scotch and, though it's no 1875 St. Miriam, I make my way to the counter. I know how I must look but days like today need options; lots of options.

I make my way back to the hotel and decide to make one last stop at the little grocery store next door. Chocolate can only help. I make my way back to my room and set my bags on the coffee table. The air is so quiet that I can hear the water bubbling from the jets. I'm just back to the door, after a trip to the ice machine, when the elevator doors open and a food cart is pushed out.

Back in the suite once more, I survey the scene. I decide to leave the food in the corner for now; both of us need to eat but I know that neither of us is ready. I line up the bottles on the coffee table along with some water, the ice bucket and two glasses. Next is the chocolate. I got a bar of every flavor though nothing fancy; just chocolate. Satisfied with my work, at least for now, I make my way to my own bathroom. It's time for a shower of my own and something more comfortable than my jeans.

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><p><em>Even after all these years<em>

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><p>I barely notice when we get back to the suite. My mind won't stop running through the events of the last week. I glance briefly at my partner; he's been fairly quiet and I know he wants me to talk to him about how I'm feeling but I also know that he knows that I'm not quite ready. He proves this to me when I hear him suggest I try to relax a little in my room's tub. My head barely twitches in my attempt to nod. It's only when I feel him nudge my arm that I realize I hadn't moved any.<p>

I'm still in a daze, too far into my own thoughts to even acknowledge my actions and suddenly I'm stepping into the hot water. As the tub continues to fill I try to sort out the events that have led me to this point.

It was five days ago that the Captain called me, and, by extension, my shadow, into his office to tell me that Mike Royce had been found dead. He was found after he didn't show up for court.

It was four days ago that the Captain kicked me and my tag-along partner off of the case. Only now do I realize that he didn't even bother to call me to his office, instead just yelling at me from his door, across the bullpen. I would have been embarrassed if it hadn't been nearly midnight and in an empty precinct.

It was three days ago that my partner (acting more the plucky sidekick at the time) picked me up at my apartment and drove us to the airport. That's also when I first saw the tub I'm currently soaking in, now with the jets on high. For now I'm going to pretend that I at least feigned an argument against sharing a room but truthfully I didn't want to stay at a crappy motel way up in the valley.

It was yesterday that we stopped at the set of the "Heat Wave" movie. It was a few hours after that when we nearly caught up with the suspect but instead got intercepted by the LAPD.

It was today, barely six hours ago, that I found out that our suspect was not Jon Whitehead. Instead when I cornered him in a dead-end alley, I discovered that he was actually Nick Taggart and he had killed Mike Royce.

Mike Royce trained me and I fell for him hard. He nearly broke my world, so I moved to vice.

I trained Nick Taggart and then, when I saw him falling for me, I moved to homicide. Apparently leaving wasn't enough; he never got over me and when he heard about my latest run in with Royce, Taggert snapped.

The water is getting cold so I move myself into my bedroom. The clock tells me that it's been nearly an hour. I dig through my bag a little and find my baggy sweats and my comfortably worn out tee. I know that my appearance won't matter to my suitemate.

Slightly more relaxed but still emotionally drained and confused, I make my way back out into the living room and sit next to my partner on the couch. I nearly laugh when I see the coffee table. A quick scan of the room tells me that a full meal is waiting for me eventually. He's thought of just about everything; it still amazes me when he does this. Touched by his obvious concern, I lean forward and take up one of the water bottles.

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><p><em>We just now got the feeling that we're meeting, for the first time<em>

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><p>After my quick shower, I step back into the main room looking for two cell phones. I find my iPhone and turn it off. I find my partner's phone in the pocket of her jacket, still on silent; I turn it off as well. There's nothing that can't wait until we wake up tomorrow.<p>

I sit myself on the couch and hear the sound of water draining in the next room. I lean my head back and close my eyes as I think of everything I found out today. I had heard the basics from my partner as she had explained the necessary history to the LAPD. The realistic part of my writer's mind is fairly certain of what she didn't say.

I feel the couch dip slightly on my right and I open my eyes to see my beautiful partner next to me. Even in oversized clothes with no makeup I think she looks breathtaking. It doesn't surprise me that her eyes look a little red but I'm sure that no tears have fallen; she's not like that, at least not tonight.

I watch her lean forward and I smile as she opens the water instead of going for any of the hard stuff. I shift slightly, placing my right arm across the back of the couch as I lean a little on the arm rest. After a few sips of the water, I watch her set the bottle down and sit back. She lets out a little sigh and leans her head back on my forearm. My body stiffens slightly and I wonder if I should try and move my arm back. In all honesty, I don't want to move and as she turns her head to smile briefly at me I know; she knew my arm was there and is okay with me staying as I am. I nod slightly in understanding and lean back my own head, letting the silence settle around us.

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><p><em>Oh, these times are hard<em>

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><p>We've been sitting on the couch for well over an hour before I decide it's time for some of the chocolate I had noticed earlier. I lean forward and smile when I see that I have a number of options here as well. I pick up some of the pure dark chocolate and rest my arms on my knees. No words have been spoken in hours so I bump his knee with mine; my way of saying 'thank you'.<p>

I get half way through the bar when I realize how different this night would have been, should have been, after the day I've had. It's only when I feel a hand on my shoulder that I can acknowledge why tonight is different. I should be yelling or crying or throwing things or hitting something but instead I feel almost at peace. And it has everything to do with the man next to me, currently rubbing soothing circles across my back.

Before we left on this trip, we had clearly been getting closer. I had broken up with Josh quite a few weeks ago now. I hadn't told my partner outright but I knew I didn't need to; he just seemed to know all by himself.

As I finish off the last of the chocolate bar, I notice that his hand has stopped moving. His arm must have gotten tired because his hand is now resting much lower. I turn my head slightly to look at him and I feel his fingers still. I smile, barely, and turn towards him as I sit back on the couch.

I know he wants to comfort me still, so I know he won't mind when I curl myself into his side, my head on his shoulder and hand on his stomach. I feel myself relax into him as his hand starts its path over my back once more.

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><p><em>Yeah they're making us crazy<em>

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><p>I look up when I feel her lean forward. She's finally caved to the lure of the chocolate. I had anticipated any number of reactions she could have had once her shock wore off but this calm sadness was not high on my list. Watching her start on the candy, my need to keep in contact with her takes over; my arm moves from the back of the couch and my hand finds her shoulder. I vaguely remember the food cart in the corner. It's a good thing I ordered cold food; it should still be good in the morning.<p>

I freeze when she glances back at me and I realize how much lower my hand has slipped. I nearly have a heart attack when she moves next to me and curls up on my shoulder. As her hand finds my stomach I relax and start rubbing her back once more; I wouldn't have an arm if she had been upset about my actions.

After a little more time I can't control my need to express some of my own emotions. I've known for a long time how I feel about her and it's time she knows as well. I know now is not the time for anything to happen or for any grand declarations but it couldn't hurt to start cluing her in, slowly of course.

I tighten my arm around her waist and when she doesn't move I turn my head, pressing my lips against her temple. It's not a kiss, per se, and I sit there long enough to ingrain the smell of her shampoo into my memory. Finally feeling how late it is, I lean my head back and rest it lightly on my partner's.

I thought she had already fallen asleep so I start only slightly when I feel her head turn and her lips press against my neck. She settles back down and tightens her hold on my shirt; she got my message, loud and clear.

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><p><em>Don't give up on me baby<em>

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><p>It's much later when I feel his hand slow on my back once more; this time coming to a rest low on my waist, just above my hip. I know I should feel uncomfortable with our current position but after today I'm starting t o realize that I'm ready for where we've been heading.<p>

I thought he had fallen asleep until I feel his arm tighten and his lips against my head. He's done so much for me today that it's the least I can do to not move; let him have his moment without feeling guilty. I was so determined to not acknowledge his actions but he was trying to tell me something; something I understood completely.

I was going to ignore it for tonight but my mind wouldn't quit. I knew he intended for nothing to change tonight, or tomorrow even, but I couldn't help but send my own message. We still hadn't used any words so instead of telling him verbally I was ready for whatever was happening, I turn my head and lightly kiss his neck. It should feel like the most awkward moment of my life but instead it just feels right. I just had one of the worst days in recent memory and the only person I can think of sharing it with has been there the whole time, keeping me sane and anticipating my every need. Like always.

As we both settle into the couch and each other for some much needed sleep, I know we're both on the same page. Everything happens eventually, and our eventually will always end with us together.

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><p><strong>AN 2.0:<strong> Hopefully you enjoyed that. Please leave a review and let me know what you thought. I intentionally didn't use their names but if the switches weren't clear, let me know. If anyone is interested I have a twitter (friendsidol5) and a tumblr (entitled "Appropriately Stupid") where I mostly discuss stupidity.


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